


I’m Okay

by Gallavich1012



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Domestic Violence, F/M, Lovers, Not Shane Friendly, Other, Polyamorous relationship, Romance, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:28:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24799213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gallavich1012/pseuds/Gallavich1012
Summary: In this story Lori never existed. Ash is Carl (and Judith's) mother but her and Rick are not together. Rick, Shane and Ash were all best friend in high school. Not long after graduation Rick got Ash pregnant but they choose not to get married or have a romantic relationship but still raise Carl together.After Rick is shot and Shane gets Ash and Carl out of the city telling them Rick is dead, she and Shane start sleeping together but their relationship isn't normal Shane is abusive and he hides it well. They both do. What happens when the cute redneck sees what's happening? What happens when Rick comes back? Who will save her?(ON HIATUS WHILE EDITING)
Relationships: Daryl Dixon/Original Female Character(s), Daryl Dixon/Original Female Character/Rick Grimes, Daryl Dixon/Rick Grimes, Rick Grimes/Original Female Character(s), Shane Walsh/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

"Going hunting today." Ash said quietly as Shane bandaged her wrist, she was lucky it wasn't sprained. 

"You sure that's a good idea, with your hand and all?" He drawled out as she pressed her lips together. 

"Yeah, it'll be fine. Not gonna be gone long unless I start tracking a buck or something. The Dixon's haven't had much luck with deer so I doubt I will." She shrugged, cradling her wrist against her chest once he finished wrapping it. 

"Come back to me, okay?" Not like I have a choice, she thought to herself. 

"Always." She said forcing a smile trying her hardest not to flinch when he reached up to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. 

"I'm sorry 'bout your wrist. I hate hurting you. But ya know why I did it right? The way ya talked to me in front of the group, you can't do that, understand? People gotta know I'm in charge and if you start back talking and challenging me so will they." He said seriously like he actually believed that was a good reason to hurt her. There was always a new reason, none of them were ever good.

"No, I understand. I'm sorry." She apologized but it wasn't sincere. She should leave him but where was she going to go? She couldn't go to Rick, he was gone. Everyone in camp knew Carol's husband Ed was abusive and did nothing. They've seen the way Shane has talked to her and man handles her when Carl or Sophia aren't around. No one can do anything even if they tried. 

"You always understand. I love you, you know that right?" he asked. She cringed internally as he leaned in and pressed a kiss to her lips. 

"Yeah, of course I know." she replied. When she pulled away his eyebrows furrowed, his hand gripping her jaw tightly. 

"Say it back." He growled a whimper escaping her because of the pressure on her jaw. 

"I love you, too, Shane. You know that!" She cried grabbing at his wrist, the anger in his eyes was evident and it scared her. 

"Mom?" Shane immediately let her go, taking a step back as Carl's voice came from outside the tent. She took a deep breath to calm herself down before he walked in. 

"What happened to your hand?" he asked confused. 

"Nothing, baby. I just tripped and caught myself the wrong way. You know me always being clumsy." Sjee said with a disingenuous laugh. She was so thankful he was too young to recognize it.

"Well are you okay?" He asked, voice filled with worry as she crouched down in front of him smiling.

"Of course I am. Shane made it all better." She said she knew who Shane was and she knew he would never hurt Carl. He didn't need to know what was going on. He nodded at Shane but didn't say anything. 

"What did you come in here for?" She asked, grabbing his hands. 

"Oh! Carol is doing some math lessons with Sophia. She and she wanted me to ask if it was ok with you if I joined them", he asked with excitement in his eyes.

"Of course, baby. How could I say no to that? You are on your best behavior for Carol okay? I'm going out hunting and should be back tonight or early morning. Shane and Dale are gonna look after you so you make sure you do everything they say." she told him, kissing his forehead.   
"Thanks for not telling him I did that." Shane said, rubbing at the back of his neck.

"It was an accident right? He doesn't need to know what happened. I'm fine." She shrugged and slung her bag over her shoulder. 

"Hey," He said, stopping her while caressing her face in his large palms. "Be safe. I can't lose you, not after Rick." He said quietly. 

"I'm always safe, Shane. I'm coming back." She said kissing him like she meant it even though it made her nauseous. He didn't say anything else so she pulled away and walked out of the tent, stopping by and giving Carl a goodbye hug before heading into the forest. 

She noticed tracks and immediately recognized them as Daryl's. She thought it was unusual because he was normally better at hiding his tracks. She shrugged it off and followed the tracks carefully. Daryl had left to go hunting about two days ago, while his brother Merle left on a supply run to Atlanta. She liked the Dixon's. Daryl more so than Merle. He was loud, cocky and rude to everyone except her and Carl. Daryl on the other hand didn't talk much to anyone with the exception of her. They became close friends, much to the displeasure of Shane.

She had a feeling Daryl knew what Shane was doing to her. However, he never pushed when she brushed off the questions he asked. They ran into each other a lot when they were hunting. Whether it was on purpose or accidentally didn't matter to her. They liked being around each other. He made her feel safe and he didn't judge her. He reminded her a lot of Rick. In all honesty she had feelings for him but didn't know if he felt the same. 

She desperately wanted to take Carl and convince Daryl to leave with her but she knew she couldn't do that. They were safer with a group which meant more people to help protect Carl. She would do anything to keep him safe. That was something she would not throw away.

She didn't even know how this whole thing between her and Shane started. It started off with just them sleeping together to cope with the loss of Rick. Then Shane became possessive and clingy then it progressed into him hitting and slapping her and even would go as far as forcing her to have sex with him. He would call her names and humiliate her in front of the group by yelling at her and shooting down her ideas. She would catch Carols knowing glances before rushing away. She was just grateful Shane never did any of this in front of Carl. 

Ash was absentmindedly following Daryl's tracks. She'd been out for a few hours but wasn't in much of a rush to get back. She knew Carl was in good hands and she just dreaded going back to Shane. She stopped mid-thought when she heard a twig snap and pulled her knife from her belt.

Daryl noticed Ash following him a while back and she had no clue he'd doubled back. She was so lost in thought she hadn't realized he was following her. Watching as she followed his tracks like a true hunter would. Stealthy and focused. He watched as she stopped in her tracks at the sound of a twig snapping under his foot, smirking to himself as she reached for her knife. 

She spun around quickly with her knife raised only to be met with a crossbow pointed at her. She lowered her knife with a sigh. Daryl just smirked as she shook her head while shoving her knife back in its holder. 

"Jesus, Daryl. Nearly gave me a heart attack." She grumbled dramatically. Daryl rolled his eyes at her childish pout. 

"Yeah, whatever." He scoffed and started walking forward, brushing against her arm as he did so. 

"Found a house up 'ere. 'S clear of walkers, wanna see if there's anythin' worth bringin' back?" He asked, she nodded giving him a small smile turning in the direction he started walking in. 

The house wasn't too big. Two stories but average in size meaning there could be some good stuff in there. She followed Daryl up the stairs and into the house silently admiring the way his shoulder muscles flexed as he held his bow up. She walked into the first room off to the side of the hall that they entered in as Daryl shut and locked the door. It was a kitchen and she started going through cabinets, smiling when the first cabinet she opened was filled with canned peaches, pears and various other fruits and vegetables. She took everything out of the cabinets and sat it on the dining table. They would have to find boxes to put everything in but so far it seemed like this house was going to do pretty good for them. 

Daryl made his way through the living room and up the stairs to check out the bedrooms. Walking to the room at the end of the hall it was obviously the master bedroom. A huge canopy bed in the middle of the room, a big bathroom through an archway off to one side and a set of French doors leading out to a balcony. The balcony itself was still in good shape but the railing was rotting and falling away, but it had a beautiful view. 

He plopped down pulling out his pack of cigarettes. Only two left. He grunted plucking one out along with the lighter. Sitting there a moment just listening to the sounds. It was quiet, just the way he liked it. Nothing but the birds chirping and the very distinct sound of Ash going through cabinets downstairs. 

She realized she hadn't heard from Daryl in a while and decided to go look for him. After checking every room downstairs she made her way upstairs. After checking all of the rooms only to get to the end of the hall, pushing the door open she noticed an open set of french doors leading out to a balcony. She walked out quietly taking a seat next to Daryl, their feet hanging over the edge. 

"Ya got another one of those?" She asked eyes flickering to the cigarette hanging loosely from his lips. 

He shook his head, a small lie but it was worth it. He pulled the butt from between his lips and offered it to her. She took it with her non-bandaged hand, taking a slow drag inhaling deeply, content with the fact that Daryl's lips had been on it before hers. He watched as her lips wrapped around the butt where his were previously, pulling it away slowly and blowing the smoke out. 

"Thought Shane didn' like ya smokin'?" He asked as she licked her bottom lip into her mouth, biting it gently before letting the skin bounce back out. 

"Fuck Shane." She mumbled taking another quick puff before handing the cigarette back. 

"That what happened to yer hand?" He asked, she shrugged. He nodded slowly as he brought the cigarette up to his lips, silently relishing in the fact that hers were there before, just as she had. 

"I know I shouldn't stay with him," She started quietly and if he was surprised by her words he didn't show it. 

"But what am I gonna do? What can anyone do? I have no where to go, hell I barley even remember how it all happened." She looked down with a sad sigh willing the tears to go away. She knew Daryl wouldn't judge. He could see the tears in her eyes but stayed silent, hoping she would open up to him. 

"I just, I miss Rick so much. I was so in love with him and I never got to tell him. I wasted so many years scared to tell him how I felt because I was scared. I came from a broken home and I didn't want that to happen to Carl. But Rick he's gone and I thought Shane..." She broke off with a quiet sob. Shd cried softly for a minute before continuing, Daryl forcing himself not to reach out and pull her against his chest. 

"I never knew Shane was like this. I thought he was a good man but he- I know he's not. I got myself into something I don't know how to get out of. If Rick was here- but he's not so it doesn't matter. I just- Daryl I'm terrified of Shane. My dad he was abusive when I was a kid, a mean old drunk who laughed when we would cry because we were so scared." Her laughed bitter as Daryl watched her but still stayed silent. 

"I got used to it. After my dad died I felt invincible like nothing could hurt me anymore after what he put me through. But now- with Shane he scares me more than my dad ever did-" 

"What's he do to ya?" Daryl asked quietly cutting her off. She looked at him and bit her lip as her chin wobbled. 

He almost regretted asking when he saw the sadness in her eyes. All he wanted to do was take her pain away. Show her how she deserved to be loved. She knew most people probably wouldn't answer that question, and she knew Daryl wouldn't push further if she didn't answer. She hoped it would help in some way if I did though. 

"At first he would just lose his temper, yell at me or call me names. Then he would start to grab fist fulls of my hair, slam me against trees and choke me. Then he would hit me. Slap, punch, kick or hit me with whatever he could get his hands on. He knew to only leave bruises where clothes would hide them but we both know everyone at camp has seen the bruises but no one asks. Sometime he- sometimes when I don't wanna have sex with him he'll- force me to. Push my face into the pillow or cover my mouth sometimes he'll choke me so I don't make any noises-"

"That's enough. 'M sorry, Ash, but if ya keep goin' 'm gonna kill 'em as soon as we get back." Daryl nearly growled, fist gripping the plywood under him angrily. 

"Why?" She asked looking at him with big eyes. 

"Cause ya don' deserve that. 'Ya ever decide ya wanna leave 'im ya come tah me. I'll keep ya safe." He said voice softening, reaching out much like Shane had to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear but she didn't flinch. 

Daryls breaths hitched in his chest as she leaned into his touch. Ash wanting nothing more than to curl up next to him and not worry about anything. But they couldn't and she pulled away. 

"I'm sorry." She mumbled sucking herlower lip into her mouth, the slightest pink tint in her cheeks. 

"Don' gotta 'pologize. Offer stands whenever yer ready tah take it. Ain't goin' no where, Ash." His hand came to rest on hers as he spoke. He meant every word. He would do anything for her and for her boy. He'd kept them safe. 

She felt like Zhs should pull away again. It felt nice, his rough hands gentle with her in a way that Shane's never would be. It was comforting to feel something other than fear when she was touched. 

"Thank you, Daryl. That's means a lot, really." She spoke lifting her pinky, wrapping it around his as shd spoke. The corner of his lips quirking up in a small smile at the action. 

"Ya ever need anythin', you or yer boy, ya come tah me. I'll take care of ya, always." He said gently and she gave him a small smile. Her smile is so beautiful, he thought. 

"We should finish going through everything and see what we find." She said quietly, standing up. She was taken back when Daryl stood up, his body was so close to hers. She just wanted to press my face against his chest and he wanted to hold her tight. She shook her head forcing away the though before turning to go inside. 

She didn't miss the way Daryl looked at her with a sweet smile on his lips.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey, why don' ya head back before me? 'M gonna try tah keep trackin' that buck a little longer, come get this stuff on ma way back." She looked up as she folded down one of the boxes they'd just packed full of canned food. 

"Ya can't bring it all back by yourself." She said with a small pout and he laughed. 

"Fine when I get back ya can leave with me and we'll come get it all, deal?" He asked, making her smile. 

"Deal." 

"Go head, take these back with ya." He said, stepping close to her, slipping the string of rabbits around her shoulders. One of his hands came to rest on her waist, slowly sliding around to her back and she realized how close we were. 

Ash felt like she should pull away but melted into his touch, resting her hands on his chest, eyes fluttering closed as he leaned in close to her. She waited for what felt like forever for his lips to press against hers, it didn't happen though. His lips brushed against her cheek then pressed a soft kiss to her jaw before leaning his forehead against her. 

"Be back tah camp soon, promise." His voice was softer than she'd ever heard it, and she curled her fingers against his chest. 

"I wanna kiss you, Daryl." The whispered words were out of her mouth before she could even think but it was too late. His eyes searched hers, flicking down to her lips, he wanted to kiss her so bad, but only if she wanted it. 

The hand on her lower back pulled her in close so she was flush against his larger body. His warmth radiating, and making her feel tingly. His face inched closer to hers like before except this time he didn't stop. They both sighed when their lips pressed together. The kiss was sweet, soft and gentle. Everything Shane wasn't. She mentally shook that thought not needing Shane to ruin a good moment but she pulled back. 

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that and let you kiss me, if Shane found out-"

"Shane ain't 'ere." Daryl said his voice rough and honestly he was right. She looked in his blue eyes for a moment before a quick mental 'fuck it' and slammed her lips against his. 

It may have been rougher than the previous kiss but it was nothing like with Shane. His hands reached down grabbing her by the back of her thighs, lifting her up onto the kitchen counter, never breaking the kiss. Her arms wound around his neck and her legs wrapped around his waist. His lips moved from hers down to her neck and god it felt so good to be touching her. His hands sliding up her thighs to grab her waist. Sliding her body closer to his, fingering at the sliver of skin there where her shirt slid up. Forcing the thoughts away of licking over the bruising there. 

"Daryl, stop..." She whispered, knowing it was too quiet for him to hear, letting out a gasping moan when he nipped at the sensitive area between her neck and shoulder. 

His hands tightened on her waist at the sound. He did it again, wanting to hear more sweet sounds as he sucked gently on the area this time and she moaned loudly. 

"Oh, god. Daryl." She pulled him closer when she should have pushed him away. 

"Yer so beautiful. I'd treat ya so good if you were mine. Ya'd never be scared again." His words weren't sexual but she moaned as he spoke between kisses against her skin. 

It was too much. She pulled his face up kissing him again, sliding her tongue against his getting lost in the groan he let out against her mouth but she shook her head this time actually pushing him away gently. 

"Stop, please." She whispered breathlessly wanting nothing more than to pull him back against her. 

"'M sorry-"

"No. Please, don't do that, Dare. You didn't do anything wrong, I wanted it so bad. But for better or worse I am in a relationship with Shane and I can't- I just can't-" 

"Sh, sh. Hey." He whispered, stepping forward and pulling her into a hug. 

"I get it, okay? Won' do it again. I'll wait for ya as long as ya need me to. I'll wait until ya tell me ya don' wan' me." He said and he felt her chin wobble as she nodded against his chest. 

"Should get going." She said quietly, jumping down from the counter when he stepped back. 

"One more thang," He said, grabbing her good wrist to stop her, caressing her face with both his hands when she looked up at him. 

"Be safe." He said his forehead resting against hers again. She brought her hands up to hold onto his before pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek and pulling away. 

"You be safe too, I'll see you back at camp." She turned and left out without another word. She couldn't handle that anymore, feeling like she was going to explode with how much emotion she felt. 

Daryl stood there in the kitchen, thinking about the way her lips felt, her body felt pressed against his, her soft skin under his rough fingertip, how sweet her skin tasted and the way her big beautiful eyes looked at him filled with love, a look so genuine it melted his heart every damn time. 

She desperately wanted to run back into that house, jump into Daryl's waiting arms and lose herself in a love that felt so good. But instead she was on my way back to Shane, to a love that wasn't really love and there's nothing she could do. 

She wished Rick was here. He would know what to do. He would know what's happening and he'd save her. He would've never let it get this far. She liked to tell myself if he showed up she'd tell Shane to screw himself and she'd be happy with Rick, but then what about Daryl? She could only hope she would get the courage to break things off with Shane. He doesn't deserve her and she knew it. What if it got worse and he hurt Carl one day? Well, no questions asked if he ever hurt Carl, she would kill him. Carl, the light of her life especially in a shitty world like this.

She didn't want this anymore. She couldn't take it. Shejust had to figure out how to get out of it now.

"Mom! You caught some rabbits cool!" Carl said, rushing over to his mom as soon as she was back in camp. She laughed at his enthusiasm as he ran up to her. 

"Wanna bring 'em over to Shane for me?" She asks, smiling at his excited nod. She pulled the string from around her shoulders and put it around his and watched as he took off towards Shane. 

"Shane, look! Mom brought back a much of rabbits!" She heard Carl tell Shane excitedly as she walked up. 

"Good catch. You came back earlier than I thought you would." He said, quirkinh an eyebrow. 

"Yeah was trackin' a deer. Ran into Daryl. We found a house out there that had some good stuff in it, and said when he gets back he'll take a couple people to get the stuff. He decided to keep trackin' the deer while I came back here." She shrugged, ruffling Carl's hair, it wasn't a complete lie but it didn't really matter. Shane nodded slowly but she didn't pay any attention, instead she turned to Carl and grabbed his hand, walking away with him. 

"So, what did ya learn while I was gone?" She asked, listening as he went on to talk about adding and subtracting big numbers and multiplying and then playing with Sophia. She loved how excited he was. She was so worried he wouldn't be able to be a kid anymore now that this was the world we lived in. But he was learning, he was still excited and happy, she was even thinking he had a crush on Sophia. 

"I'm glad you had a good day, baby. Wanna come help me clean the rabbits so we can cook 'em?" She asked, he scrunched up his nose but nodded and followed her anyway. 

They sat around for a while, just talking while she cleaned the rabbits. He told her more about his day, how Shane told him he'd teach him to catch frogs. How Amy said she'd teach him how to fish. It was nice, she was glad he liked the people around here. He absolutely loved Dale as well and he likes Daryl 'cause he has a cool bike and hunts like mom' or so that's what he told her. She remembered laughing when he said that. 

After she'd gotten all of the rabbits cleaned and skinned Carol came over, taking them to start cooking. She didn't miss how the woman glanced at her wrist but she didn't say anything. She just gave her a small smile before walking away. 

"I'm gonna go clean up the tent for tonight, okay? Why don't ya go play with Sophia a little while." She kissed the top of his head before he walked away, wiping wiped off her bloody hands as she watched him for a minute before turning and walking to their tent. She was sitting on the edge of the cot folding and putting their clothes away when Shane walked in. 

"Hey." She greeted quietly. 

"Hey, how's your wrist?" He asked, twisting the hat in his hands nervously. 

"Oh, um. It's better I guess. Doesn't hurt as bad anymore. What's up?" She asked. He took two big long steps and kneeled down in front of her, knowing what was about to happen she sighed looking away from him. 

"Ash, I'm sorry about your wrist. I know I always say I won't do it again and then I do but I really am sorry. I'm working on it I swear." No you're not. She thought as he spoke. 

"I know. It's okay." No it's not. 

"So what happened when you were out there with Daryl?" He asked and she leaned away from him to put away a few more of their things. 

"Not much. Left out picked up the tracks of a deer and ended up running into him. He told me he cleared a house for walkers but hadn't checked it for supplies so we went and checked it. There was a bunch of canned fruits and vegetables and some other stuff, blankets, a first aid kit, some hunting knives. After packing everything up we decided to go our separate ways." She explained simply and technically it wasn't a lie. She just kept the kissing part out of it, like Daryl said Shane wasn't there. What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him. 

"That's it? Nothing else happened?" He asked and he almost looked worried, she furrowed her brow looking at him confused. 

"No, Shane nothing happened." She told him simply.

"Promise." He said, sounding genuinely worried. 

"Yes, I promise. When is the Atlanta group supposed to be back?" She asked, trying to change the subject. 

"Uh, tomorrow sometime." He said and she nodded, she leaned in giving him a gentle kiss on the cheek. 

"I should finish cleaning up here." She said quietly hoping he would get the hint and leave and thankfully he did. 

"Alright, I'll leave ya to it. Come getcha when dinner is ready." He said, she pressed her lips together with a small nod, letting out a shaky sigh when he walked away. 

She finished cleaning up the tent, making their beds, and putting away all of their things. She sat on the side of the bed and rubbed her hand over her face, reaching under the bed and pulling out a small wooden box. The first thing inside was a picture of her, Rick and Carl taken a couple months back before he was shot. She ran her finger over Ricks face in the picture and felt the tears in her eyes. 

"God, I miss you, Rick." She whispered as a small tear rolled down her cheek.

"I miss him, too, mom." Her head shot up hearing Carl's voice, the small boy standing in the entryway of the tent. 

" I know, baby." She said, opening her arms as he rushed over, throwing his arms around her neck, hugging her tightly. 

"I love you, mom." He cried against her neck. 

"I love you, baby. Your daddy loved you so much, too." She stroked the back of his head, holding him tightly in her arms. 

"He died protecting good people though, I guess that's the best way to go, right?" He asked, pulling back to look at her. More tears well up in her eyes as she pulled him back against me. 

"You're absolutely right, baby."


	3. Chapter 3

"It's late they should've been back by now." Amy spoke as she paced near the RV worriedly. 

"Worrying won't make it better." Dale said from where him and Jim were working on the RV. 

"We should go-"

"No. No way, we do not go after them. We do not risk the rest of the group. Y'all know that." Shane said when Amy tried to speak. Ash held Carl against her front and she could see the worry on his face. 

"So were just gonna hope for the best? Their never this late coming back what if something happened?" The blonde asked angrily. 

"Look, Amy, I know this is not easy-"

"No, she volunteered to go to help the rest of us." 

"Yeah, and she knew the risks of that." Ash's jaw dropped open at Shane's words and so did Amy's. 

"She's my sister, you son of a bitch." She said before turning and stomping off. 

It had been a few hours since Amy and Shane's little dispute and they still hadn't heard anything from the Atlanta group. They were all a little antsy but knew they'd be back. 

"Baby, the more you fidget the longer it's gonna take. So try not to." Ash said as Carl rolled his shoulders for the hundredth time while she cut his hair. 

"I am trying." He said rolling his shoulders again feeling uncomfortable. 

"Well, try harder." She retorted snipping off some more hair. 

"You think this is bad? Wait 'til you start shavin' you'll be dyin' for one of your mama's hair cuts." Shane said, she could almost see Carl roll his eyes even with his back to her. 

"I'll believe that when I see it." He grumbled. 

"Oh, hush up, I'm almost finished." She laughed straightening his head before combing through it. 

"I'll tell you what, you make it through this without giving your mama anymore trouble and we'll go catch some frogs like I been saying. Okay?" Shane spoke again and she glanced up at him then down at Carl who turned to look at her expectantly. 

"Okay, yeah, fine but only if you sit still until I finish." She scolded but the big smile on Carl's face made her smile as she turned his head back straight. She could see Shane's smile disappear when she didn't acknowledge him smiling at her. 

Shane turned his attention back to Carl and they both laughed about whatever it was that Shane was talking about. Her head shot up when there was the sound of a car alarm in the distance. 

"Can you see anything Dale?" Shane called out standing up quickly, jogging over to Dale who was on the roof of the RV. 

"What is it? Is it them? Are they back?" Amy rushed out looking up at Dale. 

"Stolen cars my guess." Dale said as the car got closer. A red sports car with the alarm blaring, skidding to a stop before Glenn got out with a big goofy grin. 

"Turn that damn thing off, Glenn!" Ash yelled over the alarm, covering Carl's ears. 

"I don't know how!" He yelled back with that same goofy grin. 

Amy was pestering him about Andrea and Shane was trying to get him to pop the hood and he suddenly realized what was going on, his smile disappearing. He turned back to the car popping the hood and Shane immediately pulled the wires and the alarm stopped. 

"Andrea? Is she with you? Is she safe?" Amy started asking again and Glenn put his hands up. 

"Yes. Yeah, she's fine everyone's fine." Glenn said rubbing at the back of his neck sheepishly. About 10 minutes later another vehicle pulled up behind the red car, a big moving truck. 

Ash pulled Carl away as Morales and his family reunited, knowing it always made him upset seeing another family reunite. She crouched down in front of him caressing his face between her hands and watched as his eyes filled with tears as the other children called out to their father and hugged him. 

"You're okay baby. I'm here and I love you so much, you know that?" She promised and tried to smile when he nodded as she vaguely listened to the others talk in the background. 

"How'd you guys get out?" Dale asked. 

"New guy, crazy vato just got into town. Hey, helicopter boy, come say hello." Morales called out. 

"New guy?" Shane asked. 

"Yeah, guy used to be a cop like you." Glenn responded, out the corner of her eyes she could see someone else walking up but kept her attention on Carl but the figure caught his eye. Her heart stopped as she watched Carl look towards everyone else, his eyes widening before pulling away from her. 

"Dad!" Carl's scream ripped her from the shock she was in when her eyes landed on him. 

"Dad!" Carl yelled again running forward. 

Standing there was Rick, her heart pounded heavily in her chest as she ran after Carl. Watching as Rick immediately took him into his arms, nearly falling to his knees as he held him close, his blue eyes filled with tears. She walked the last few feet slowly as he stood back up reaching out with one hand and pulling her against him by the back of the head. 

"Oh my god, are you real? Please tell me you're real." She cried quietly against his neck trying her hardest to keep her tears at bay. 

"I'm real Ash. I'm here, baby." He promised kissing her head. 

Her eyes met Shane's over Ricks shoulder glaring at him. He told her, swore to her Rick was dead but he wasn't. He look as surprised as she felt but she didn't buy it. She pressed her face back against Ricks neck and breathed him in, digging her fingers into his back scared he would disappear.

All Rick could think about was the fact that his child and the woman he loved were back in his arms. He held them tightly scared that if he let go he'd be back in that hospital and they'd be gone again. 

Ash didn't know what was going to happen now. Not with Shane. Not with Rick. Not with Daryl. How could she tell Rick everything that happened? Would Shane just assume things are over between them now that Rick is back? And what about Daryl? She had feeling for him, strong feelings that she didn't want to let go, but she loves Rick. All she knew is she didn't want to be with Shane, she hoped he would just let it go but something in her gut told her he wouldn't. 

All she could do right now was hold her baby and her best friend.


	4. Chapter 4

"Disoriented. I guess that comes closest." Rick spoke. They were all gathered around the fire after dinner, Carl and Ash curled up against Rick. 

"Disoriented. Fear. Confusion. All of those things- but disoriented comes closest." He explained, telling them about waking up in the hospital, seeing all of the dead bodies then the walkers for the first time. 

He was playing with her fingers and she could feel Shane's eyes watching them. Hell, everyone was watching them since Rick got back. As far as they knew Shane and her were in a relationship but just like with Shane hurting her they weren't gonna ask question. She was hoping to talk to Rick tonight, she just prayed she wouldn't back out. 

"Mom said you died." Carl's quiet voice broke Ash from her thoughts and she bit her lip as Rick squeezed her hand. 

"She had every reason to believe that. Don't you ever doubt that." Rick said petting at Carl's hair. 

"Ya know, when things started getting really bad they told me at the hospital they were gonna fly you and the other patients to Atlanta and it never happened." She hated the way her voice wavered at the end. Rick looked over at her, seeing Shane's head lift up out the corner of her eye. 

"Well, I'm not surprised after Atlanta fell. And from the looks of that hospital it got overrun-"

"Yeah, looks don't deceive. I barley got them out, ya know?" Shs narrowed her eyes at Shane wanting nothing more than to punch him in the face. 

Rick could feel the tension between the two. See it in Ash's eyes every time she looked at him. He could see the guilt in Shane's eyes when he looked at her. He wondered what happened between his two friends but would have to ask later. 

"I can't tell you how grateful I am to you, Shane. I can't even begin to express it." Rick said genuinely, Shane gave him a small nod and looked away, that guilty look on his face. It was quiet for a minute, partially comfortable silence until dale spoke up. 

"Have you given any though to Daryl Dixon?" He asked, Ash glancing up, it wasn't going to go well when they told Daryl about Merle being left behind. She didn't pay much attention to them going back and fourth on who should tell Daryl until Shane called her name. 

"Ash?" 

"What?" She said shaking my head. 

"Next to Merle your the closest person to Daryl, maybe you should talk to him. He's a lot more calm around you." Shane said, she quirked an eyebrow at him and scoffed. Rick looked over at her surprised but she never took her eyes off of Shane. 

"Ash, baby, you don't gotta-" 

"I'll be there if he needs to be calmed down but I'm not telling him." She said leaving no room for discussion as she relaxed back against Ricks' side, laying her head on his shoulder. 

They all stayed there a while longer not much talking just sitting around, everyone slowly leaving to go to bed. Carl left when Dale said something about sleeping in the RV and he was all excited. Rick, Shane and Ash were the only ones left around the fire. 

"I'm on watch tonight, why don't y'all go to sleep." Shane said standing up. Rick looked up at him before standing and pulling her up with him as Shane kicked dirt onto the fire until it went out. 

"Ash, can I talk to you for a second?" Shane asked shoving his hands in his pocket. Rick looked over at her and she nodded, surprised when he pressed a kiss to her lips before walking away calling out a 'goodnight' to Shane. 

She turned to face Shane and he was just looking at her. Checking to see if Rick was gone before taking long strides to stand right in front of me her. Pressing his large body against hers, grabbing a fist full of her hair and forcing her face to look up at him. She whimpered his grip making her scalp burn. 

"Shane let me go." She said trying to stay calm. 

"You can't just- your just gonna throw me to the side now that he's back?" He growled. 

"Shane we started fucking because I missed him and needed to cope after you lied about him being dead. I've never had romantic feelings for you. I love Rick." She said struggling against him. 

"Then why'd you stay, huh? If you didn't feel something why'd you-"

"Because you forced me to Shane. I was scared of what you'd do if I tried to leave. I don't want you. I never have so please just let me go or so help me god I will scream for Rick right now." Shane's eyes widened at her threat but let go nonetheless. She quickly stepped away before rushing to the tent, taking a few deep breaths before walking in and zipping up the tent. 

"Hey, what took so long?" Rick asked as she walked in the tent, standing up to pull her against his chest. She didn't answer for a minute just wanting to relax in his embrace. 

"Wanna talk to ya about some stuff." She said quietly, her face still buried in his chest. 

"What is it, Ash?" He asked lifting her head up to look at him. She was quiet again, tilting her head towards the bed. He didn't say anything, just grabbed her hand and pulled her to sit down. 

"Rick, I was so scared when Shane told me about you getting shot. Seeing you in that bed terrified me, I was even more terrified when Shane told me you were dead-" Her words were cut off with a small cry, Rick silently encouraging her as he rubbed his hand up and down her back. 

"After Shane got us out and we got set up in this camp and everything he was kinda the one I turned to. He made me feel better, we- we started sleeping together. But that's all it was for me and Shane knew that. But he just, there's a lot that happened, a lot of bad things between us and I didn't want to be with him any more in any way but I was scared to call things off with him." She paused again but he was still sitting there quietly, listening intently. 

He wondered what bad things. Was he the reason her wrist was bandaged? He saw the bruises on the tops of her arms. Shane couldn't have done the. Could he? 

"To cope with my fears of Shane I found a friend in Daryl. We would go hunting together and just talk. That's all it ever was, talking. He listened, he let me cry on his shoulder when I would talk about you and how much I missed you. He's a really good person, no one else here sees it cause they don't take the time to get to know him. I did and we got close. We- we kissed the other day and he told me whenever I was ready to leave Shane he'd be there and he would protect me, take care of me and Carl. He's a good man. And I was ready, I was ready to tell Shane I didn't want anything to do with him sexually or romantically. Just give in to Daryl but now your back-"

"God your back and I have to tell you how much I love you. How much I've always loved you, Rick. Fuck since high school. I was so scared to tell you. I came from a broken home and I didn't want that for Carl, what we had was good and it worked but I always wanted more with you. You're my best friend you always have been but I can't deny how much I love you. I thought I lost you. Thought I'd never be able to tell you. Now your here and I'm so happy. I'm so happy. But-" 

"But now you're conflicted." Rick offered when she stumbled trying to find the right words. Biting at her lip nervously she nodded looking down at his hand resting on top of her. 

"Well," He started, his free hand come to tip her chin up so she'd look at him, his touch so much gentler than Shane's ever would be. 

"I love you, too, Ash. Ever since high school like you said. Never mentioned it cause you'd made it clear you didn't want that. I don't know what happened with you and Shane, you can tell me about it whenever your ready. As for Daryl, well I don't know him. If you love him then you love him, baby. I know that I love you and it seems like he loves or has strong feeling for you even offered to take care of our son." He paused, catching her eye again. 

"You take the time you need. I'm not going anywhere. I waited years just to hear you say you love me, I can wait a little longer." He whispered the last part leaning in and kissing her lips. Meaning every word of what he was saying. 

"I do love you, Rick." 

"I know, I love you, too." 

He wrapped his arms around her, laying them back on the bed. Things actually felt okay for once.


	5. Chapter 5

"Mornin' Rick." Ash smiled as Rick walked over to her. Where she was handing up clothes on the line to dry. 

"Hey," He said stopping in front of her a small smile on his lips. 

"Sleep okay?" She asked looking up at him through some hair that had fallen in her face. 

She was so beautiful, he thought. Long brown hair pulled half way up, strands falling out in the front, dark brown making her baby blue irises stand out even more than normal. Pink tongue flicking out to lick at her thick bottom lip. Her short, petite frame was curvy in all the right places. She was just beautiful. 

"Better than in a long time." He said with a smile and she wouldn't lie, she slept like a baby cradled in his arms all night. 

"I didn't wanna wake you. I figured you could use it." She said gently pinning up a shirt, looking at him when he didn't say anything. 

"What is it?" She asked stopping in the middle of grabbing another shirt. 

"Just been thinking, about the man that got left behind-" 

"Merle?" He nodded and she stayed silent waiting for him to continue. He was about to say something but stopped as Shane sped up in his Jeep, letting everyone know water was there and reminding everyone to boil it before using it. 

"You want to go back for him?" She asked and he nodded. 

"Yeah I do." He said, just as she was about to respond a scream echoed through camp. 

"Mom!" No. Her eyes widened as another scream echoed around us. She took off without thinking, Rick and others following after her. 

"Mom! Dad!" 

"Carl!?" She yelled nearing the edge of camp, jumping over the cans strung up in case of walkers, immediately relieved when she saw both Carl and Sophia. 

"Carl, baby are you okay?" She asked Rick waiting for her nod before following the rest of the men. Her hands ran over Carl looking him over for bites or scratches as Carol did the same with Sophia. She ushered Carol and the kids back to camp and inside of the RV standing outside the door waiting for them to come back. There was no screaming or gun shots and she relaxed a little when she saw Daryl walk from the tree line. 

"Merle! Get yer ugly ass out 'ere. Got us some squirrel!" He called out, Ash's stomach twisted at the thought of Merle. His eyes met her, their kiss flashing through her head and all she wanted to do was go and kiss him. 

"Daryl, slow up a bit. I need to talk to you." Shane said, Daryl's eyes glancing over at her before back to Shane. 

"'Bout what?" He asked, pulling on the string around his shoulders. 

"'Bout Merle." He said, she saw the look in Daryl's eyes changed, no one else around here knew him well enough to notice, but she did and it broke her heart. 

"There was a problem in Atlanta." Shane said calmly. 

"He dead?" Daryl asked, shifting where he stood, a nervous tick he'd had since childhood. 

"We're not sure." Shane answered and Daryl narrowed his eyes. 

"He either is or he ain't!" Ash nearly jumped at Daryl's shout, not used to hearing him like that. Rick caught her eyes and stepped forward. 

"There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just say it." Rick said using what Ash liked to call his 'cop voice'. 

"Who tha hell are you?" Daryl asked just as angry and she knew this wasn't going to end well. 

"Rick Grimes." Daryl stopped for a minute his eyes looking over at Ash, she bit her lip not missing the way Rick watched Daryl watching her. 

"Ya got somethin' ya wanna say tah me Rick Grimes?" She cringed internally at how angry Daryl sounded, absolutely hating how upset he was but also knowing the anger was a disguise for his worry. 

"Your brother was a danger to us all. So, I handcuffed him on a roof, hooked him to a piece of metal. He's still there." Daryl's face twisted up in anger as Rick spoke, shifting in his spot more than before. 

"Hold on, letme process this. Yer sayin' ya handcuffed my brother to a roof and ya left him there?!" Daryl shouted again. Rick was unfazed having dealt with more backlash as a police officer but Ash wasn't. This time she did flinch at the shout and she knew both Rick and Daryl noticed. 

"Yeah," Rick replied calmly. 

Before anyone could process what was happening, Daryl ripped the squirrels from his shoulder and threw them at Rick who dodged them. Shane stepped forward and tackled him when he took another step towards Rick, knocking him to the ground. She watched as the three of them fought with each other. Shane came up behind him and wrapped his arm around Daryl's neck as Rick took his knife. Ash's stomach twisted watching Shane drag Daryl down to the ground. Daryl struggled against him, face red and angry at the way Shane was holding him. 

"Come on now, calm down." Shane said, Ash fighting the urge to roll her eyes. Rick glanced over at her nodding, she walked over quickly, Daryl's eyes meeting hers as soon as she started to move and kneeled down in front of him. 

"Dare, need ya to calm down, okay?" She said quietly to him, her and Shane probably the only ones who could hear her. He nodded once and stopped struggling against Shane, but he didn't let him go. She narrowed her eyes looking at him. 

"Shane, let him go." She demanded quietly, nothing. 

"Shane." Rick snapped, he gave Shane a small nod before he roughly let Daryl go. She reached out resting a hand against his neck. 

"You okay?" She asked, he gave her another small nod before standing up and offering her his hand to help her up. As soon as she was up he turned right back to Rick but she stayed by Daryl's side hoping that it would keep him calm. 

"Listen, what I did was not on a whim. Your brother does not work and play well with others." Rick said and we all knew that, hell Daryl himself knew that. 

"It wasn't Rick's fault. I had the key, I dropped it." T-Dog said, it obviously felt bad but they knew that didn't really matter to Daryl right now. 

"Ya couldn' pick it up?" Daryl asked angrily, Ash touched his wrist gently when he turned towards T-Dog, effectively stopping him from walking towards the other man. 

"I dropped it in a drain." T-Dog said, shaking his head. 

"If 's supposed to make me feel better it don't." He said looking at the other man. She turned to him, her hand still on his wrist as she spoke knowing he wouldn't react violently towards her. 

"This might, okay? Look, he chained the door shut and pad locked it. Said the staircase is narrow. Nothing can get through it except a pair of bolt cutters." She said gently, his eyes watching her intently as she spoke. He nodded slowly and it broke her heart when for just a split second it looked like he was going to cry. 

"It's gotta count for something." Rick said and Daryl turned back to face him. 

"To hell with all y'all. Just tell me where he is so's I can go get 'em," He said, her heart breaking at how sad he sounded. 

"I'll show you, I'm goin' back."


	6. Chapter 6

"Hey," Ash called softly as she ducked into Daryl's tent. 

"Hey," Was his gruff reply and then it was silent. She walked over and sat down on the bed so she could see his face. 

"Broke things off with Shane," She started waiting for his reply but all he did was bite at the inside of his cheek and nod. 

"Figured that when I saw Rick." He said after a moment, Ash furrowed her brows and looked at him. 

"It ain't like that Daryl. I- he knows how I feel about you..." She trailed off quietly. 

Daryl looking up at her. Watching her bright blue eyes for a moment. Hands stilling where they were packing things into his bag. He didn't want to think about how he would be losing her to the man she confessed so many times to loving. The man she thought was dead but is back now. How could he compete with that even with whatever feelings she could have for him. 

"And how's that exactly? How ya feel, I mean." He questioned turning his body towards her. 

"I really like you Daryl..." She trailed off, and he forced himself not to scoff, both of them knowing it was more than that. 

"But ya love Rick. I understand. Ya love 'im, y'all got a kid together. I can' really compete with that. So I just hope yer happy." He said, his words weren't completely genuine, he was angry that she wouldn't just say how she really felt. 

"No. I'm not happy. I know you feel the same way about me, Daryl. You said so the other day when we kissed. Was ready to take me and Carl in. Look, I'm sorry this is even more complicated than it was before but please don't shut me out. I don't wanna lose you." She whimpered at the end, Daryl's head snapping in her direction, his hands coming up to caress her face. His heart stopping in his chest when her voice cracked like she was going to cry. 

"Ya ain't gonna lose me, baby. Not ever. Even if ya decide ya don't want me that way. I'm sorry. Don't want ya to worry 'bout that, okay?" He asked his words genuine this time and she relaxed into his touch and nodded, leaning her forehead against his. 

They just stayed there for a moment. Letting the moment consume them. Just feeling the other there and finding some sort of comfort in that. 

"You mean a lot to me, Daryl, I hope you know that." She said gently pressing a kiss to his cheek. 

"Yeah I know. Ya mean 'lot to me, too." He said pulling away slowly and turning back to his bag. 

"Be safe." She said standing up, he just grunted in his typical Daryl response. She kissed his head before walking out and sighing sadly. 

Daryl sat back on his knees. Sighing heavily after hearing her footsteps leaving. He cursed to himself quietly. Why did he have to be in love with someone who wasn't going to want him back. The fact of the matter is no matter how much he denied it, he really did love her. She was the only person who even gave him the time of day, made him feel like he wasn't just some stupid redneck. He didn't know what she saw in him but she made him want to be a better person. 

After leaving Daryl's tent Ash spottedRick going into her tent and decided to go and talk to him too before they headed out. She was glad he was going back for Merle but she was worried. Worried about both of them. 

"Hey, I'm glad your going back, but please be careful." Was the first thing she said as she walked into the tent. 

"I will be." He said turning to her, pulling her into his arms. 

"Please, don't let Daryl do anything stupid. I know he has a temper and he can be reckless but I don't want him to get hurt." She said, Rick was quiet for a minute as he looked at her. 

"You really care about him don't you?" He asked, and she shook her head looking up at him. 

"I more than care about him. He means a lot to me just like you do Rick. I don't want either of you to get hurt." She said laying her head back against his chest. 

"I know, I'll make sure everyone stays safe. We'll be back soon, okay?" He asked, she just nodded silently. Both of them just standing there. 

"But what about you, are you okay?" He asked after a minute and she nodded again pulling away this time. 

"I'm okay." She said pressing a kiss to his cheek like she had with Daryl.

"Love you, Rick. I'll see you off in a bit." She said gently pulling away from him, not wanting things to get emotional. 

"Love you, too, Ash." He replied as she turned to walk out of the tent, watching her for a moment before she disappeared off to the side. 

"Mom?" Ash turned towards Carl who was sitting under a tree at the end of the line of tents. 

"Hey, baby. I was just about to come find you." She said sitting down next to him. 

"I don't want dad to leave again." He said quietly and her, frowning she tipped his chin up so he'd look at her. 

"Your dad is gonna come back to us, he always does. I'm gonna stay here with you and your gonna help me keep camp safe, okay? It wouldn't be right to let Merle die out there when we could help, because why?" She asked. 

"Because we should always help people if we can." He replied instantly. 

"Unless what?" She asked again. 

"Unless they threaten or try to hurt us." He replied again and she smiled smiled. 

"That's my boy." She said proudly kissing his head.

"Why don't you go play with Sophia?" She smiled when he nodded, standing up she grabbed his hand and pulled him up. She kissed his head before he bounded off to find his little friend and she made her way to find Rick or Daryl again. 

"So that's it, huh? You're just gonna walk off? Just to hell with everybody else?" Shane asked Rick and Ash slowing down to listen to the two talk. 

"I'm not saying to hell with anybody. Not you, Shane. Ash least of all." Rick said turning to walk away. 

"Tell her that." Shane said, Rick stopping and looking back. His eye catching hers even though Shane had yet to notice her. 

"She knows." He said watching as she nodded before he turned around again, Shane following him. 

"Well, look, I- I don't okay, Rick? So could you just throw me a bone here? Could ya just tell me why? Why would you risk your life for a douchebag like Merle Dixon?" Shane asked. 

"Hey, best choose your words more carefully." Daryl snarled at Shane, Ash taking a step forward closer to Daryl's side. 

"No, I did. Douchebags what I meant. Merle Dixon- the guy wouldn't give you a glass of water if you were dying of thirst." Shane sneered back first at Daryl then at Rick. 

"What he would or wouldn't do doesn't interest me. I can't let a man die of thirst, me. Thirst and exposure. We left him like an animal caught in a trap. That's no way for anything to die. Let alone a human being." Rick said turning and catching Ash's eye again. 

"Is it just you and Daryl?" She asked sticking her hands in her back pockets. Rick didn't say anything just turned his head to look at Glenn whose eyes widened slightly. 

"Oh, come on." He groaned. 

"You know the way, you've been there before. In and out no problem, you said so yourself. It's not fair of me to ask I know but I'd feel a lot better with you along." Rick said, both him and Ash looking over hearing Shane scoff. 

"That's just great. Now you're gonna risk three men, huh?" He asked, hands on his hips like a pissed off woman. 

"Make it four." T-Dog spoke up, Daryl looking back at him with a scoff. 

"Ma day just keeps gettin' better and better don' it." He grumbled, Ash popped him gently with the back of her hand, shaking her head at him when he just rolled his eyes. 

"You see anybody else stepping up to save your brothers cracker ass?" T asked, Daryl just scoffed again and turned back to his bow. 

"It's not just four though. You're putting every single one of us at risk. Just know that, Rick. Come on, you saw that walker. It was in camp. They're moving out of the cities. They come back we need every able body we've got. We need 'em here. We need 'em to protect camp." Shane nearly shouted. Carl scooted closer to his mom at Shane's words and she had half a mind to yell at him for freaking Carl out, she just gave him a small smile and scratched at his head. 

"Seems to me like what you need most here is guns." Ash looked back up as Rick spoke. 

"What guns?" Shane asked his tone of voice changing completely. 

"Six shot guns, two high powered rifles, over a dozen hand guns." He answered simply. 

"Ammo?" Ash asked, Ricks head turning towards her with a nod. 

"700 rounds assorted. I cleaned out the cage back at the station before I left. Dropped the bag when I got swarmed. The bag is but in the street waiting to be picked up." They really needed those guns and Shane knew it. 

They all knew it. Even though they attracted more walkers it was faster to kill them if there were more than they could all take. Rick looked back over at Ash looking between both her and Carl before walking over. He crouched down in front of her and grabbed both of her hands in his. Daryl watched them out the corner of his eye, wanting to get up and storm off but thought better of it. 

"Are you sure about this?" She asked quietly looking at him. 

"I owe a debt to a man and his little boy. If they hadn't taken me if, I'd have died. It's because of them I even made it back at all. They said they'd follow me to Atlanta. They'll walk into the same trap if I don't warn them." He said squeezing her hands as he spoke. 

"What's stopping you?" She asked, not that she needed him to convince her to let him go, if he felt it was right she'd let him do it. 

"The walkie talkie in the bag I dropped. He's got the other one." Rick said still looking her in her eyes. 

"These our walkies?" Shane asked, Rick turning back to face him. 

"Yeah." Rick answered simply. 

"So use the CB what's wrong with that?" Andrea asked, Rick and Shane both shaking their heads. 

"The CBs fine. It's the walkies that suck- date back to the 70s. They don't match any other bandwidth, not even the scanners in our cars." Shane answered and Ash nodded her head biting at her lower lip. 

"We need that bag, okay?" Rick asked quietly looking back at her. 

"Okay, Rick. I trust you."


	7. Chapter 7

The drive to Atlanta didn't take long. There wasn't much talking in the truck either but boy was there tension. The same thing in everyone's mind, well sort of. 

T-Dog was just hoping Dixon wouldn't kill him if his brother was dead or gone. Glenn was mainly worried about the guns but knew shit would break loose if Merle was gone. Rick and Daryl thinking about the same things but those thoughts were intertwined with thoughts of Ash and strangely enough each other.

Rick was happy to be back with Ash and Carl and even though Merle Dixon was an asshole he felt bad about leaving him behind with no supplies, food or weapons. The way Ash seemed so worried about Daryl and how upset he would be. The look on Daryl's face when he realized what it could mean that his brother was left behind. He was heart broken. And for some reason that shook something inside of Rick even though he didn't even know this man. He knew how Ash felt, could see the love in her eyes when she looked at him and the love in his when he looked at her. 

Daryl on the other hand was just pissed all around. Pissed that his brother got left behind. Pissed that the girl he loved could be taken away from him. Pissed that he wanted to follow the blue eyed sheriff around with his natural leader aura. How could he want to do good by a man who left his brother behind? He didn't know but it just pissed him off. 

They parked the truck along the railroad tracks agreeing that Merle was the logical choice to get first, then the guns and then get the hell out. It wasn't hard getting to the building. It wasn't hard getting in, it was clear walkers stampeded through here at some point between today and the day before and that made Daryl's stomach flip uneasily. He took the lead going straight to the staircase in the back of the store, only stepping off to the side when they got to the top for T-Dog to cut the chain. He rushed through the door calling Merles name. But he wasn't there, just bloody handcuffs dangled over a puddle of blood and a severed hand. 

"No! No!" Daryl cried and Rick cringed at the agony in his voice. He had a strange urge to comfort the other man. 

It was odd. Not like how he would if he were on the job with Shane and something bad happened. He didn't wanna offer him a beer and a clap on the back. He wanted to hold him against his chest like he does with Ash or Carl and apologize for leaving his brother behind in the first place but he knew that would land him a punch in the face. 

What happened next happened faster than anyone could comprehend. Daryl spun around angrily raising his bow, pointing it at T-Dog, Rick's own gun coming up to point at Daryl and that made Rick feel even more sick. Daryl was breathing heavily, tears of frustration brimming his eyes.

"I won't hesitate. I don't care if every walker in the city hears," Rick told him calmly, hating the way the other man's lip quivered as he squeezed his eyes shut, lowering his bow.

It was starting to get dark. Ash wouldn't tell anyone but she was worried they hadn't made it back yet. There could be multiple reasons and she just tried to think of only the positive ones. Carl was cuddled up against her side eating the fish Carol cooked for everyone. 

"Hey, I'm gonna go to the tent real quick, I'll be right back," She said kissing his head. He just nodded silently continuing to eat. 

Ash sighed heavily running her fingers through her hair walking past all of the tents and into the lining of the woods. She leaned against one of the trees squeezing her eyes closed. Rick and Daryl would be back. They'd bring the guns and everyone would be okay. 

"You okay?" Ash gasped jumping away from his tree at Shane's studded voice. 

"Yeah, I'm fine." She sighed dismissively hoping he'd just leave her a lone, but of course that wouldn't happen. 

He walked forward slowly backing her into the tree, caging her in with his arms on either side of her waist. He leaned in close as if to kiss her but she turned her head away quickly. 

"Shane, stop," She demanded trying to keep her voice even and calm. 

"C'mon baby, I know you want me," He whispered grabbing her hips and grinding against her. 

"Shane I'm serious," She growled trying to push him away when she felt his boner run against her. 

"Don't be like that, Ash. You know I can make you feel good. Better than Rick and Daryl..." The jealousy in his tone disgusted Ash as she stilled against the tree at his words. His lips making contact with her jaw and trailing down her neck. 

"Shane, you need to get off of me now." She told him, he looked up at her eyes filled with anger. 

"All the sudden I'm not enough-" 

"I already told you Shane. I don't love you and I never did. I love Rick. I love Daryl. But you? No. What we had all that was, it was sex. Had I met Daryl before we started all of that I can promise we never should have slept together," She hissed out, shocked but not surprised when the fist connected with her jaw before her roughly grabbing her face. 

"Now you listen to me, I've been nothing but good to you-"

"Good to me?" She nearly shouted, "You call, beating me and lying about my child's father being dead, good? Fuck you, Shane," She spit out, the other fist came around and she could feel the black eye she was going to have as she stumbled to the ground. 

He raised his fist again ready for another hit when a sharp cry came from camp. Shane pulled away, Ash getting up and pushing past him as she rushed to camp. That cry was one that was never followed up by anything good.

It was dark as the four men ran through the forest back to camp. Trying to get there before Merle, if he even decided to go here. They weren't far away when the screams started. Rick and Daryl sharing a look both worried for Ash and Carl. Once they got to camp it was complete horror. There were walkers everywhere. Andrea was leaning over her dead sister and at least three other had been bitten and were being eaten. 

Rick only had time to glance and be sure Ash and Carl were safe before pulling a walker away from where it was about to bite Shane. Daryl on the other hand got a better look at Ash as he shot an arrow through a walkers head. He could see the form of a bruise on her jaw and around her eye. His eyes flashed angrily towards Shane. Rick should have let the fucker bite him, he thought angrily as he unsheathed his knife slamming it into the skull of a walker. Once the most of the walkers were killed Daryl rushed over to Ash watching Rick and a few others finishing the rest. 

"Hey, ya two okay?" Daryl asked his arms sliding around her waist pulling her into a hug. Her arm wrapped around him tightly the other still resting on Carl's shoulder who was tucked against her back. 

"We're okay, where's..." Ash trailed off trying to spot Merle. Daryl shook his head when she met his eyes again. She frowned about to apologize when Rick ran up pulling both Ash and Carl into a hug. 

She frowned when they pulled away and Daryl had already walked off. Rick led her and Carl away and to the tent. He didn't need to see this. 

"Dare..." Ash called out quietly, the only light illuminating the body in front of her was the full moon shining down over the quarry. 

"Yeah, Ash?" The gruff voice asked, turning towards her. 

"I- nothing, I couldn't sleep. Rick's with Carl..." She trailed off stepping forward wanting to be closer to him. 

"Fish ain't bitin'," He said casually reeling the line in and setting the pole down. 

"Do they normally in the middle of the night?" She asked amused bumping her shoulder against his. 

"You'd be surprised," He replied with a hint of amusement in his voice. 

"What happened?" Daryl asked after a few minutes of silence. 

"You really have to ask?" She questioned turning her face downward. 

"Guess I don't," He said turning his body to stand in front of her, his hands coming up to gently caress her face. She sighed as her eyes slid shut and leaned into his touch. 

"What happened?" He ask again anyway rubbing his thumb against the bruise on her jaw. She sighed again opening her eyes to look at him. 

"Was getting worried y'all weren't back yet, was getting overwhelmed and needed a minute to myself so I walked off just a little ways into the woods. After a minute he followed me, pushed me up against a tree and started kissing my neck. I told him to stop but he grabbed me tight and wouldn't let me go. I told him I was serious and tried to push him away but I couldn't. He started getting mad and told me he could make me feel better than you or Rick. I told him to get off of me again and he got mad and said he didn't understand why suddenly he wasn't good enough for me. I told him I love Rick. That I love... that I love you. But not him. That I never loved him and I never would so he punched me..." She trailed off knowing there was more but held off for a moment. 

"Say it again," He whispered, she blinked confused looking up into his eyes before she realized what he wanted. 

"I love you, Daryl," Lips were coming down against hers before the words were fully out. Strong arms pulling her against his chest. 

"I love ya, Ash," He breathed against her lips still holding her tight. "Tell me right now if I need to back off 'cause of Rick, if not I ain't ever gonna stop chasin' ya," 

"I can't tell you to back off, Daryl. I know it's selfish but I need you. I need Rick but I need you too," She pressed closer to him nuzzling her nose against his jaw. 

"We're gonna figure it out, but I'll always be here," He promised kissing her slowly. His hand slipping under her shirt to rub at her back. 

"Ash?" Daryl pulled away ready to lunge for his bow only to take a second to realize it was Rick. 

"Rick? Is everything okay? Is Carl-" 

"Carl's fine, I woke up and you were gone. Carl had a bad dream he asked me to come find you," He shrugged casually. She nodded slowly looking between the two men. 

"Okay, well I should go check on him. Goodnight, Dare," She said quietly, her hand slowly sliding from where it had been resting on his chest, "Night, Rick," She whispered, walking past the other man.

Rick and Daryl stayed quiet for a minute, both just looking out at the moon shining on the lake. After a minute Daryl glanced over at Rick before looking back shaking his head slowly. 

"How much of that ya hear?" He asked, shoving his hands in his pockets pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. 

"Pretty much all of it but I already knew she loved you, didn't have to hear her say it," Rick replied casually. 

"Ya doin' somethin' 'bout Shane?" Daryl asked, turning to face Rick again. 

"I'm gonna talk to him. Tell him to back off, see where it goes from there," He shrugged looking at Daryl. 

"Man, he ain't gonna care. Ya know how many times he's put hands on 'er? Maybe he'll listen to ya but somethin's gotta be done. I can't see 'er hurt like that anymore, man," Rick could hear the anger and pain in Daryl's own voice, seeing her hurt was hurting him. 

"I get it Daryl, I haven't been here so I haven't seen it until now, but I won't allow it to happen again. But I do want to thank you," Daryl looked up at Rick surprised. 

"Thank me? For what?" He asked confused. 

"For taking care of her and Carl when I wasn't here. She told me all of the things you did for her and I'll always be grateful to you for that," He said genuinely taking a step closer to Daryl. 

"I love her," He said earnestly, Rick standing in his personal space but he didn't move away. 

"I know. I love her, too." He replied just as genuinely. 

"And she loves both of us." Daryl agreed with a nod. 

"She does. Carl doesn't need to know about what's going on with Shane but between the two of us, Shane will not touch her again," Daryl nodded he'd been waiting for the okay to beat Shane's ass maybe he would finally get it. 

"So, what 'bout us, huh? She's gonna have to choose," Daryl said quietly after a moment, noticing Rick shift closer but again not minding. 

"Maybe not," He replied blue eyes meeting confused blue eyes. 

"Whatcha mean?" He asked gruffly. 

"It might be unconventional, but I'm okay with her loving both of us. I'm okay with her wanting to be with both of us. We make her happy. I see the way she looks at you, she's in love with you, seen the way you kissed her earlier. I'm not gonna take that from either of you. But I love her, too, Daryl," Rick said shifting just a bit more to almost be chest to chest with the other man. 

"So, what's that mean for the three of us, Rick?" Daryl asked, confused by the whole situation only knowing he was in love with Ash. 

"It doesn't have to mean anything, Daryl. She can love and be with both of us. As far as me and you, well we can see where that goes, if it goes anywhere beyond friendship and a mutual love for the same woman," Rick watched as Daryl tongue darted out to wet his lips and had the oddest urge to kiss him, wondering vaguely if he'd be able to taste Ash on his lips. 

"Is that something you'd be okay with?" Rick asked when Daryl didn't say anything. Daryl shifted just an inch but it felt like so much more when his hand brushed against Rick's. 

"Yeah. Yeah it is. Want her to be happy, wanna see where this goes with us, too," He drawled, feeling Rick's pulse quicken as he gently ran his fingertips over the other mans wrist. 

"We'll talk to her tomorrow, okay? Before we head to the CDC, see how she feels about all of it, something tells me she'll be okay with not losing either of us," Rick answered with a small smile. It would be difficult to explain to Carl and it would probably cause issues with Shane but it didn't matter. He'd endure anything to make sure Ash was happy. 

"Sounds good, g'night Rick, I'll head up soon," Daryl smirked a little pulling his hand away and taking a step back but Rick smiled back at him. 

"Goodnight, Daryl,"


	8. Chapter 8

"Hey, Ash, won't you come here, baby," Rick said quietly walking up to her, the bruising on her face making his jaw clench angrily.

"M'kay, what's up?" She asked, pulling off the walker blood covered gloves, mindful of her sprained wrist.

"Daryl and I wanted to talk to you," Rick explained, leading her over to Daryl's tent, furthest away from everyone else. When they walked in Daryl was already standing in the middle of the tent waiting for them. Rick walked around Ash to stand on the side of the two so they could all easily see each other.

"So...what's up?" Ash asked, wringing her hands together looking between the two men, neither missing the nervous habit.

"Daryl and I talked last night. 'Bout you and me and you and him," Rick started, both men surprised when they watched her face fall from nervousness to dread.

"I understand if neither of you want to be with me any more. Oh god, I've just been going back and forth between both of you and it's not fair. I'm so sorry-"

"Darlin', hey, take a breath," Daryl stepped forward, shushing her gently, reaching out to rub his hand up and down her arm.

"You haven't been going back and forth but you don't have to worry about that, baby," Rick stepped closer as well and couldn't help the small smile he had on his face. Her big innocent blue eyes looking up at him with curiosity.

"Okay...?" She drawled the question slowly.

"We talked about you loving him, him loving you. You loving me, me loving you. Know you love us both and you don't know how to choose but you don't have to, Ash. We're okay with you wanting both of us," Rick explained watching all of the emotions running through her eyes.

"I can't- no that's not fair to either of you-"

"Ain't about fair, Ash. We do it this way and nobody loses anyone. We know it ain't a normal relationship but what about the world is normal anymore? Rick and I'll figure out our relationship along the way but for now we both love ya, both want ya and neither wanna lose ya. It's your decision," The two men exchanged a look when her eyes filled with tears and her bottom lip quivered.

"Darlin'?" Daryl asked worriedly, bringing his hand up to rest on the side of her face.

"I want this, I'm just worried- what if one of you decides this isn't what you want anymore, I don't wanna lose either of you-"

"That's why we're doin' this, baby. Neither of us wanna lose ya, we know what we're gettin' into and we're okay with it. Ya don't have to worry 'bout either of us leavin'," Daryl promised, Rick had stuck by her through all of these years and Daryl was head over heels for her, neither planned to lose her

"If it ever gets to be to much please just tell me, I'll understand-"

"Shh, c'mere," Daryl cut her off, pulling her against his chest, reaching out to Rick and pulling him in as well. The two men cocooning her smaller body between theirs.

Rick couldn't help it as he leaned over Ash's shoulder and nuzzled his cheek against Daryl's. Rick pulled back meeting the other man's eyes, happy that he hadn't pulled away.

"Rick?" Shane's voice called out, followed by the sound of his footsteps.

"Yeah, Shane?" Rick answered as the three of them pulled away, as he stepped outside of the tent.

"We're almost finished, man. Just a couple more bodies then gettin' our dead buried. Everything good over here?" Shane asked and Rick had to suppress a scoff at the question.

"We're good, c'mon," Rick replied, clapping the man on the back before the two walked away.

"So I guess we should work out new sleeping arrangements, huh?" Ash asked, her arm sliding around Daryl's neck.

"Naw, tents are two small for four people and ya gotta stay with Carl," Daryl shook his head, as much as he would love to sleep with her he knew she would never leave her son.

"Mm. So you and Rick can bunk together," She smirked playfully, laughing when he rolled his eyes.

"How about this, after we get to the CDC, assumin' it's there and assumin' there places for us to sleep separately ya sneak over and stay with me for a night," A chill creeped up Ash's spine at the way his voice dropped down and he pulled her closer.

"That would be nice," She breathed, eyes falling closed when his freehand came up to caress her face, his warm breath washing over her face. Flashes of their first kiss in the house sped through her mind and she moaned quietly against Daryl's lips.

The quiet gasping noise she made when his lips trailed down her chin to her jaw made Daryl nearly groan. He trailed over the bruising on her skin, pressing the lightest kisses there, smiling when he could see Rick coming back, though he was a lot quieter than Shane and knew Ash hadn't realized him yet. He kept kissing along the column of her neck, Rick's eye's meeting his as soon as he stepped into the tent and saw him take in a deep breath.

Rick watched as Daryl's hand slid up Ash's back tangling in her hair. Her quiet gasp made his jaw fall open and Daryl smirked at him over her shoulder, licking a broad strip up her pulse point. Rick's mouth suddenly went dry and he felt hot, much hotter than the way the beaming Georgia sun made him feel. Daryl met his eye again, pulling one hand away from Ash, beckoning him over. He didn't waste a second taking the few steps in long strides, pressing against Ash's back, listening as she suppressed a moan against Daryl's shoulder when they both started kissing her neck. The three of them stayed like that for a moment. It felt good, it felt right for the three of them to be tangled together, but then the event of today came flooding back. Burying their dead, burning walkers, Andrea having to put down her sister, finding out Jim had been bitten and trying to figure out a plan on where to go next.

Ash was sitting on the steps of the RV now, re-wrapping her wrist and getting ready to finish helping clear camp. Rick was inside talking to Jim and Ash's eyes kept drifting to Daryl. She sighed as she tucked the wrap, running a hand over her face, surprised when she opened her eyes and Shane was crouching in front of her.

"I need you to talk some sense into Rick," He started and she fought the urge to roll her eyes as she stood up. "Look, this CDC thing, Ash, it's a mistake."

"So you're backing him?" He added when she sighed and just looked at him.

"Of course I am." She shrugged, she agreed with Rick's plan even though it was risky.

"You can't tell me that fixing your relationship is worth putting people's lives at risk," Shane spat and she just looked at him again, neither realizing Rick was right at the front of the RV now.

"Everyone here can make up their own minds without bringing my relationship into it, just like none of them cared when you were beating up on me everyday. And just remember we are not together so why don't break that habit yourself," Rick's jaw clenched at the mention of Shane hurting Ash, the night she had told him bad things happened between them he had his suspicions but now it took everything in him not to break Shane's jaw.

"I guess I'll add that to the list of habits I'm breaking whether I like it or not," Shane trailed off when Rick's boots clacked against the floor of the RV steps.

"What habits?" Rick asked looking between the two and he could see the hesitance in Ash's eyes.

"Just talking about my need for a plan, man. So what is it? Are we leaving or not? Maybe y'all just wanna stay here, hang some more tin cans," Shane spoke again and Rick knew the man didn't realize how close he was to getting punched in the face.

"We can't stay here. We both know that-"

"I was just telling Shane I think we should trust your gut. You already know I'm behind you," Ash cut Rick off gently, Shane shaking his head when Rick broke their eye contact to look at her.

Rick gave her a small nod, he knew Daryl and Ash had his back and their opinion meant the most to him. He knew some were iffy but they didn't have to come. He felt this was the right move and he was gonna move on it. Shane eventually agreed and he helped talk to the group before they finished packing.

Then they were headed off to the CDC.


End file.
